After boot camp and training, Laura received orders to her first duty station, Naval Air Station (NAS), Whidbey Island. When she was in-processing, David "happened to be" in the administration area drinking his coffee and asked, "are you the new mech [short for mechanic]". Laura looked at him, knew he was not wanting to know if she was a mechanic but instead trying to make small talk. The response, "No. Do these hands look like the hands of a mechanic (displaying a freshly manicured hand)?"
After some initial communication mishaps (and those that know Dave, know he has a habit of foot in mouth syndrome) and my reluctance to have any further communication with him due to some early foot in mouth situations, somehow a friendship formed. I will say, he was persistent because I was done before I even knew him but after his persistence, I confronted him about what he said, and the miscommunication was handled as adults. Regardless of that, I was in another relationship, but I told him we could be friends. That was the beginning of our friendship, and we were pretty much inseparable. We shopped together, went to movies together (in friend groups but somehow Dave always managed to sit by me), partied together, went drinking and ate together, and we went camping together (again, in friend groups). I had a lot of fun with him, and he really knew how to make me laugh.
For our first date, Dave took Laura to eat at McDonald's and then to see Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace on May 20, 1999. Please understand, Laura is not a Star Wars fan, really does not care for Star Wars movies but Dave wanted to see the movie and said it was extra special. Not only the very horrible movie choice but he also brought along a 6-year-old boy (his friend's son), to "see how Laura was with kids".
Result: Didn't matter about the movie because the kid spent the entire movie trying to molest Laura and sitting in Laura's lap. Dave laughed the whole time. He later admitted it may have been a bad decision to bring the kid, but he was at the age to start thinking about settling down and wanted to see how Laura was with a child. This resulted in a discussion about age differences because Laura had always assumed that Dave was Laura's age, 18 (and it would be surprising to hear an 18-year-old man talking like this). At that point they realized there was a 13-year age gap between them. He thought Laura was too young and Laura thought he might be too old.
Yes, it took Dave 3 asks for me to give him a "Yes" to his important question. The way I see it, if you want that important answer, you better put some effort into it and follow the words of Johny Depp in Pirates of the Caribbean, "Woo said strumpet"! I mean, I loved him but he had to put the effort in, especially with that disaster he called a first date...
The first ask...we were lying in bed, and he asked. I thought he was joking or making small talk, but I looked at him and said, "are you really being serious?" When he told me he was, I told him to do better and then I would give him an answer.
The second ask... I was working in the galley of the ship, wiping down tables and he came down from the flight deck on a break, dirty from the grease and smelling like exhaust. He's talking to me and says, "Let's just get married". I told him, "I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that come out your mouth because doing better does not equal this." My love was so in the moment, and he says to me, "just tell me what you want. I don't understand". I told him, I want what all women want. I want romance! I'm not going to tell you how because I want it from you. "Romance me David!"
The third ask...He took me to a local mountain that we used to go hiking on. I thought that's what we were going to do. Until he had a basket set up with a blanket on the ground, some cheeses, crackers, romantic music from the car radio, and a bottle of Arbor Mist (he was working on a military salary from the 1990s and even with that we both laughed and laughed at the wine). He pulled it off with a sunset view over the ocean. This third ask got an astounding "Yes".
We Eloped on July 7, 2000. We told no one except a few Navy friends who would be our witnesses. We hired an attorney, went to the beach, and got married. After we were married, we called our "tribes" and told everyone and oh the reactions from our parents. It was like we had ruined our lives. Not many people gave our marriage more than a few months. I don't think very many people actually knew why we eloped, but it was not by choice.
We were pregnant and the squadron and base hospital was trying to force me to have an abortion. When I tried to bring Dave into my appointments to assist with some of the hostile treatment I was getting, they wouldn't allow it. So, we had to get married, and we had to get married immediately because then his rights to be there changed.
I don't add this story to bring darkness or shadow upon our current celebration. I just wanted to share a piece of what made us, us and to be open about why we had to elope and didn't just have a big wedding back then, why we didn't invite or tell anyone about that wedding. It was a rough time in our history, but we moved forward together, and I think that's what our marriage was forged from, strength in our unity.
Since our marriage, we have had our ups and downs. We've raised children and we've suffered big losses in our family. We didn't do it by having date night every week or by making time for us. In fact, we probably did it all wrong because there were times when we were both ready to part but we never got to that point, and I think it's due to our foundation. Our marriage didn't start with a love story. It started with a tragedy and that united us more than any love story could have ever done because out of tragedy admiration, love, selflessness, tough conversations, and respect for each other grew. Due to our elopement and our life, we never had a honeymoon so this summer's trip to Punta Cana and then to Nassau gave us a peek of how far we've come and helped us realize that we definitely want to spend our 25th Wedding Anniversary doing things the right way. Gathering our friends and family and celebrating our union. We couldn't do it the first time around for really horrific reasons. So, this time, we're going big and the only 2 things we want to keep from the first marriage is that it was on a beach, and it was in the evening. However, we want something tropical where we can be barefoot in the sand. So, we picked Nassau and then found out we could rent the island but only if we would be willing to have an evening wedding. It really worked out well for what we were thinking.