A bit about Becca and Clay's background - they came from very different worlds. Becca was born and bred in Taiwan and England, then she moved to L.A. a number of years later. Clay was born in Atlanta, Georgia, and would later move to California with his family. Coming from a range of diverse cultural backgrounds, Becca, a TCK (third-culture kid), and Clay being raised in a multi-cultural family; they could've only imagined a very different future as opposed to the one they're envisioning now (and together)!
It was the day before July 4th, 2017, they met outside of Snowglobe Perspective dance studio… right next to the bins. Becca was taking a breather before she would return to the dance class she was taking, little did she know that she would never return and get caught up in a conversation with Clay. He was chatting to a mutual friend, Angela. Uninvited, she decided to join in their conversation. While Angela went to fetch Becca something to eat because she was feeling dizzy, they started a conversation of their own. Back then, she's only known of Clay for a few years, BEFORE meeting him in person - he’s more a public figure in the dance community, and of the company he works at, STEEZY. Becca's first impression of him was simple: loud and probably obnoxious; a confident guy who seems to know what he’s doing in life. It was interesting to have her first conversation with him and actually get to know him beyond this preconceived public persona. They enjoyed their first conversation with each other!
They both connected on their favorite coffee shop in Pasadena, Copa Vida. Clay had just recently moved to Pasadena then as well. They said they would keep in touch and perhaps hang out at the cafe sometime! About one week later, Clay reached out to Becca after she had commented on one of his Instagram stories. He proposed this plan that they would get coffee at Copa Vida and get a pedicure together at a local nail salon. It was an unintentional date - they just didn’t think so then!
Becca was visiting Clay and his flatmate Richie’s apartment with our friend Teresa. Everyone was helping to make some steak Nachos. After Becca finished salting the beef, we chopped it up, threw on our nacho concoction, and tossed it all in the oven. It wasn’t until after cooking it through that we realized the beef had been WAY over salted. In Clay’s mind though, he felt completely responsible because he didn’t communicate that we were using a coarse kosher sea salt and nor did he tell Becca that the amount that he wanted her to add. Becca felt embarrassed because she over salted, but that feeling was only made worse when Clay kept saying that he could make this better and fix it.
Clay was simply focused on making the dish taste great and placed no blame on Becca. Becca was focused on her role in the destruction of this dish.
Becca celebrated her 26th birthday at the Standard rooftop bar, one week prior to her actual birthday. Clay was invited and showed up, even though he only (personally) knew Kevin (@2kangz) there. At the end of the night, she asked Clay to give a ride back to her car, to which he agreed, albeit there may have been quite a few questions in his mind about their "friendship" by far. Something about Clay when it comes to relationships: he doesn't like to assume mutual interests without any clarifications.
Exactly 1 week later, on Becca's actual birthday, they arrived at their first DTR (Define The Relationship) conversation. Becca initiated it after she had realized, "I DO have feelings for him... I just didn't want to admit it!" She went into it only thinking of addressing what had been going on; her intention was simply to clear out any confusion BUT to hope it turn into an official relationship.
Oh, how wrong was she. So close, yet still a bit far from being a couple. In fact, they revisited this conversation again the following week. It seemed like this was a weekly debrief for them now. They delved deeper into their respective upbringings, beliefs, and values. To make it official, Becca had her reservations beyond just feelings. As for Clay, being in his patient nature, especially he was now sure of their mutual interests; he was persistent. Then there was something extraordinary, or rather, supernatural about the process and transformation of their dynamics from friendship to romance.
Some of you may know, the topic of faith was consistent and significant at the beginning of their relationship. Though it wasn't always easy through the first few months, there was the honeymoon phase, there were also times of struggle and confusion. For Clay, it was about understanding Becca's inner world and what it truly means to have a personal relationship with God. For Becca, it was her longing to be understood; her figuring out the balance between trusting the current journey and wrestling with feeling alone in her faith. There had been some faithful months, more than what they had expected, actually.
In December 2017, Becca took a trip back to England to visit her close friends and family. Little did they know what was about to happen... the day after she came back to L.A., they ran into a conflict after dinner and the conflict would turn into a conversation about discovering certain ingrained roots of their personal past. What seemed like a recipe for disaster at first turned into something rather wonderful. Then there was more.
For the first time, tangibly, Clay had felt God's love first-hand.
Just about a year ago, Clay had encountered God's realness, embarked on this journey of faith and personal relationship with Jesus. Things started to change, in ways they couldn't have predicted. Individually and as a couple. Becca had always said (for fun) that Clay would one day be on the stage in church, speaking, or something of the sort. You know, God's got a great sense of humor. First, Clay got invited to share his testimony about his encounter and journey with God on stage back in April 2018. Then, six months later, he decided to get baptized in dedication to fully embracing this faith journey!
[Huge thanks to the best man, Daniel Nguyen, who played a major role in planning and making the proposal possible. Here's his story on Becca and Clay's surprise proposal.]
It was an interesting time to be engaged. Clay’s plan to be with Becca was a long-term plan he had in mind, probably months after they started dating. Clay knew and believed he has found his partner that he would like to live and grow with for the rest of his life.
At the time when quarantine just phased out, Clay had thoughts about proposing, and how it would be different from the cliché proposals that have been done. It needed to be memorable, including both family and close friends, and unsuspecting for a perfect surprise. He got together with a few of his close and creative friends to bounce ideas for potential proposals. VR was on the table at first with personal interactions with friends who live across the states as well as in other continents. But Clay knew it would be overwhelming with the equipment and the need to find a clear surrounding. Later that day the friends had an epiphany and thought about putting together a fake art gallery that involved Becca and Clay's friends to contribute art, and a perfect way to surprise Becca with the proposal.
Time was short, the proposal had a few weeks of planning, and a few days to set up the “exhibit”. There were a lot of moving parts prior to the proposal, luckily, a few faithful friends came through with setting up the proposal (and they stuck around to make sure the proposal ran smoothly on the day of). Art was created among friends that were interested in being a part of the exhibit. There was a lot of stress on the last day of preparation, with only hours before the gallery opening walls were constructed out of fabric, projectors were showing old video clips of past art, art pieces were placed into position, and the last room was prepared specifically for Clay’s proposal.When the gallery had its opening, the couple arrived exploring the space, taking photos of each other, and enjoying art from new and old friends. Friends watched the couple explore via zoom, and had their eyes peeled on the last room where the proposal was taken place. In the final room was a space for memory lane, with compilation videos of Becca and Clay’s time together. Everyone saw footage of them both exploring, enjoying food, and making new memories with each other. Up until the very last moment was the proposal that caught Becca by surprise, and all of her friends/family was there to witness the moment. It took a while for Becca to recompose, but it felt as if time extended that moment to savor those moments. Of course, she said YES!
Everyone on the computer celebrated, they congratulated them and the friends that helped assemble the gallery waited outside to celebrate the happy couple. The rest of that evening was spent with close friends eating at Clay’s small apartment with talks about the wedding, and what Becca's thoughts were during those moments when Clay proposed. They both knew that getting engaged was part of the plan, but it was the execution of Clay’s coordinating for the date of the proposal tied with her Birthday that provided an impression that it was a date night on the weekend of Becca’s Birthday.
Hiya :) It's Becca.
Never have I thought I'd meet someone during my time in California (my mindset for the first 4 years in L.A., I was very convinced I'd leave this city once I finished my college degree). Being one of the most transient places L.A. can be, it felt near impossible to be in a serious relationship.
I'm sure glad I was wrong.
Despite an atypical beginning with many doubts and uncertainties, deep in my core, there was always something about Clay that's unusual. Rather unique. He's been a driven person who's focused on his professional and creative endeavors. He and I are different, but not opposites. It's not about complimenting each other, but ever exploring our strengths to build each other up. When we face our weaknesses, we'd face down for a brief moment, but not crushed or defeated. We know we will overcome, every time at every trial, however long it would take.
Clay's the warrior of believing before seeing; his pure faith speaks volumes.
I love his mind full of creative ideas, ready to experiment.
I love his tenacious spirit, always pushing forward and pressing in for the better.
I love his generous heart, never withholding the good and exciting things in life with his friends and family.
I love his curiosity for more and not settling for mere comfort in the material world.
Clay, my love, thank you for being you. How much you've grown, and still authentically you.
There's still so much more... hey, tune in and find out more on our day (either physically or virtually)!
Hey y'all, Clay here!
This woman has flipped my perspective of the world and personal aspirations upside down. Which is amusing, because that isn't even something I've longed for throughout the various seasons of my being . I’ve always desired to keep life simple, focus on my career and hobbies, and just be kind to my peers. But Becca’s values differed greatly… she desired intentional, quality time with friends to dig beneath surface level interests. She follows God’s heart while praying for continual wisdom and discernment so that she may witness and understand more of His deeds.
We’re just built different
But through much trial and tribulation due to our contrasting values and upbringings, we have grown into such a wild hybrid of cultures, understandings, and interests. I am so in love with those differences. Thankfully, from the dawn of our relationship, empathetic communication has been a deep rooted foundation that we have worked on and tailored together. Every day we fall deeper and deeper in love with the way we challenge each other compassionately.
Thank you Becca for countervailing my habitual self indulgences with your heart for profound interconnection ❤️
